For some individuals, all the stress of planning and coordinating suddenly gets replaced with an unexpectedly sad feeling once the wedding is over. It could stem from any number of things—relief that all the planning and fitting-into-your-dress stress is through, missing having your closest friends and family around, bummed that your honeymoon is over or just a more abstract feeling of "what now?" Plus, you've just undergone a major life milestone—you're bound to feel a little anxious about all the change going on, whether it's a new last name, new home (maybe far away from friends and family), new in-laws or a new Facebook relationship status—or all four.
When all the planning, attention and excitement fade away, it's easy, and totally normal, to feel a little deflated. But don't worry—the postwedding blues are a real thing and it's worth examining what the cause of it is. Before long, you'll be back on track and excited about what your wedding really represents—the start of your new life together.
What are the postwedding blues?
It happens when couples experience a period of letdown following the excitement of planning the wedding. It seems counterintuitive that you might feel down after what's meant to be the best day ever, but so many people experience highs and lows in life, especially after big events.
Depression after major life events is completely normal—and that includes weddings, of course. Considering the amount of energy, emotional resources, and attention that many people put into their wedding (positive or negative), it’s normal to have a release after these extended periods of heightened stress, excitement, or nerves.
These days, most people know enough about weddings to know that planning them is not easy, but what happens after tends to be a bit more sugar-coated. After all, what could possibly be stressful about finally being married to the love of your life or going on a honeymoon, right? Post-wedding depression is 100 percent normal.
There are so many different reasons someone might go through a postwedding low. Maybe they loved the attention that being engaged and planning a wedding brings, or they'd been setting aside some important life decisions until after the wedding. Once everything's all is over, they have to face these big, stressful things head-on.
Tips for Dealing With Postwedding Sadness:
Process your feeling
Especially for bride who experience a brand new change in her life. You have to come across such transition in life wich you never been through before, a new family, new members and brand new living life style. You have to adjust with the confort of parent’s house. And it is most probably posible thet mixed feeling can take over which need to be processed and should not be ignored before it gets too late to overcome.
Recognize that your wedding isn't the same as your marriage.
If you know yourself well enough to realize you're too focused on the wedding and not focused enough on your relationship and next steps as a duo, take a moment to shift your perspective. It's fabulous to celebrate a wedding, to make it wonderful. But think about what married life will mean, what your expectations are as a couple for your lifestyles, and focus on making that shift in perspective."
Be open to premarital counseling.
Don't be put off by the idea of premarital counseling—even before your "I dos." The postwedding blues are just some of the things you can talk about in sessions before your wedding. By talking to premarital counselors, you're taking a proactive step in insuring the future of your relationship.
Make everyday events exciting and important.
Adding fun and joy into everyday life sets the scene for staying connected throughout your marriage. Make dinner at home more special with a few candles, or take a day trip somewhere close, but new.
We suggests trying new hobbies or outdoor activities together. It’s also a good idea, to remind yourself that this is an adjustment period for your partner, too.
Redefine your relationship with your family.
Try not to focus on the fact that you're leaving your family and instead think about the one you're just beginning. Your family is still a part of your life, but you just have to reinvent your relationship with them.
Making the decision to get married doesn’t mean that you divorce your family, you can take this opportunity to plan new activities where you involve your new husband and your family.
Look to your new spouse.
You may feel embarrassed or uncomfortable sharing your sadness with your brand-new spouse you may not want to worry them or offend them. But take comfort in your other half. If anyone understands these feelings (or your needs in general), it'll be them.
If you’re struggling with post-wedding anxiety, we suggest things like journaling, therapy, communicating with your partner, and meditation as ways to calm your brain and feel more relaxed when reflecting on your wedding. But if all else fails, remind yourself that your anxiety "is only part of you, not all of you."
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By Veronica Rodriguez