Once you’ve set your wedding budget, the next step should be to get an idea of your guest list.
The number of guests you invite to your special day will directly influence the cost of many different elements of your wedding from the invitations to the catering and wedding favors.
If you're overwhelmed by the great guest-list-making task, here are a few tips to simplify the decision-making process.
The hardest part of the wedding planning process for many couples is creating their guest list. If you want a very intimate wedding but have a large family and friend group, trimming your guest count to a manageable size is incredibly challenging. You may also have a differing opinion or viewpoint on your wedding size than your partner.
For the majority of couples, it’s just not financially feasible to invite everyone you know to your wedding. As a result, managing the guest list can quickly become quite stressful as you try to find a careful compromise between staying on budget while also avoiding hurt feelings. Taking names off your guest list can be a hard job, but it’s essential to approach the process with sensitivity and tact.
Divide and Conquer
Start by setting your total guest count, then divvy it up among you, your parents, and your future in-laws. Post suggests splitting it in one of two ways: one, give equal thirds to you and your groom, your parents, and his parents. Or, two, keep 50 percent as a couple and assign 25 percent to each set of parents (with multiple sets, each side gets 25 percent total).
Setting Guest List “Rules”
Common rules used by couples in order to cull theur guest list might read as follows:
1. No kids allowed
2. Plus-ones only for those in long-term relationships.
3. Restricting the number of Friends your parents can invite.
Create a Kid Policy
A quick way to minimize your guest list is to make your wedding adults only. You'll have to break the news gently to the moms and dads in your crew, but if anything, they may look to your wedding as a time when they can kick up their heels and enjoy a kid-free night.
Add Plus-Ones Consistently
Your friends are in various stages of relationships, so where do you draw the line? Post suggests making a clear and fast rule. For instance, if a couple has been dating for six months or more, the SO gets an invite, and if not, he or she doesn't; and you have to stick to whatever rule you make up.
What is the B-list?
A B-list is a list of friends and/or family that almost made the cut (The A-list), but that you simply don’t have enough space for, so you create a secondary list of wedding invitees that you’ll pull from if any of your A-list invitees decline attendance.
Our recommendation is… don’t make a B list! It’s actually quite easy to fall into this pit of B-lists & C-lists out of guilt, obligation, or desire to include as many people as possible and avoid hurt feelings. Any bride can tell you that the guest count always has a way of expanding naturally– think unexpected plus ones, recently-engaged couples, and long-lost relatives. So the savvy thing to do would be to save any guest spots that open for those unexpected guests.
People you should cutt off from your wedding guest list
- MIA family members. If you haven't spoken to some of your relatives in years, don't feel obligated to invite them to your wedding. Remember, your wedding is a celebration for you and the person you're marrying and your immediate family; it's not a family reunion. Don't feel required to extend an invite to everyone in your family tree.
- Friends you haven't heard from in years. If you're hoping to rectify some of your friendships with people you've grown apart from or no longer speak to frequently, you may feel inclined to invite them to your wedding to make this happen. But between mingling with all your other guests and squeezing in some one-on-one time with your new spouse, your wedding is far too busy an event to attempt to rekindle your relationship.
- Coworkers. Just because you share a cubicle with a person at work or you eat lunch with them on occasion doesn't mean they have to make your guest list—especially if you're keeping your wedding on the smaller side. Instead, plan a work happy hour to celebrate.
At the end of the day, your wedding is a day for you and your partner to celebrate a new beginning in your lives. The only people you need there are two of you and witness/officiant. Everyone else is just an added bonus.
Also, remember as a bride, it’s not your job to please everyone. In fact, it’s simply not posible.
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